Stalking

First off, a big HELLOOoooOoooOOOoooOOO to all the millions of very quiet readers who got here from KimberlyCun's sweet shout out on her blog: "Welcome, welcome!" *bows and curtsies*

And another big HELLOOOOOOOooOOoooooOOO to all the other 40 daily readers who've been with me all these years (hic) the past year: "Welcome backkk darls!"

Recently I got to thinking about blogging. Especially after seeing the hike in my readership. And somehow, once again came across something I wrote a long-long time ago on another site.

Creepy, creepy! I meant me, of course.

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A Stalker

Friday, Oct 10, 2008 6:19AM

I like blog stalking.

I love the voyeurism of it all. A peek into someone's lives. Their thoughts. Dreams. Rantings. Simple accounts of 'what i did today'.

I love it even more when the words hit a chord. When the sharing is so intense I can't help but feel a real connection with this writer. Drawing me back to his/her page everyday, like an addict, needing my daily fix of this 'conversation'. An anonymous face not saying a word, just adding hit counts to the sites I love.

But I wonder at times about the truth behind these words. Are these people writing about a life based on their perceived reality? Or are they such well formed and confident souls who can bravely withstand the thoughts their words provoke?

And how many millions out there are like me, who love the blogosphere, but inside, don't feel we have the depth and intensity to build a blog as good as the ones we love? Who are afraid that if we started sharing, we would be judged as harshly as we judge those blogs we can't stand. For people like us, it is so much easier to claim to 'not have the time' or say, 'I am personal and can't be bothered to make my private life an open book.'

I'll update next, when I have the time.

In the meantime, you know what I'm up to.



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Donc, (it means 'so', or 'therefore' in french)  (and I'm planning to add more words in french as time goes by to show off what a great student I am and to also brag about being one of the tops in class despite thinking I'd fail miserably) I started thinking about how and why I started blogging publicly in the first place.

It started out after moving to Luxembourg, and needing to communicate with the people I love which really is not easy when the time difference is so inconvenient. I guess it also helped that I now have loads of time on my hands, and writing something now and then instead of thinking and going deeper into the depths of my sometimes spiraling mind just felt much, much better.

Anyhoo, I wanted to go on and on about my thoughts and the like, but have nothing smart to say anymore. So this post is REALLY just a big welcome to everyone who stopped by. I'm just a girl (yes, yes, still a girl) who's traipsing her way around the world, and in the big, big realms of her mind.

Happy stalking!

Sticky the cat

Once upon a time, when I was a princess living in the Paris of the East, I turned 30. My prince charming threw me a surprise party, and I got incredibly drunk.The next day, I had a stinking hangover. After drinking many shots of coffee and eating countless bars of Snickers, I felt better, but somehow also very mellow and weak.

I then went for a walk with my prince, and we chanced upon a tiny white stray baby cat. (Let it be known that the princess hated cats with a vengeance, and thought they were lazy, insolent, arrogant and smelly creatures.) My prince, however, was a cat lover, and gave off some sort of loving signal. The cat then kept following my prince, and tried to cuddle itself against his legs in a 'miang' way that only cats could portray.

Back in the lobby of our castle, I pulled my prince into the elevator in a bid to escape the cat. And we did so successfully. However, when we stood at our tower and looked down into the gardens, we could see the lonesome cat looking up, as if knowing where we were.

My prince took me into his arms and asked quietly if we could take care of the cat. And in some unforeseen moment of weakness, I said yes. And therein begins the story of Sticky the cat.

xxx

Sticky was named Sticky because the moment he passed through the doors of our chambers, he stuck to either one of us like sticky glue. When my prince and I would cuddle on the sofa as we watched TV, he'd wriggle his way in between us and lie contentedly, squished. Whenever I sat down, he'd jump on me, and curl up in the folds of my legs, purring with delight as I looked down in disgust. It was a long road for both of us, because I didn't like his neediness and he didn't care what I liked. I'd keep pushing him away, but he just kept coming back. Because while he loved both of my prince and I, you could see that he was intent on winning me over. And slowly, but surely, he wriggled his way into my heart.

We lived like that for months. Sticky became bigger and bigger, and very much a part of the family. He used to always run to the door whenever we came back home, purring and rubbing himself against us as a sign of welcome as we took of our shoes. He'd wait patiently for us to settle down, and if we'd refuse to stroke him when he sat next to us, he'd do it himself, and rub his head against our hands. He even had his own 'wife', a little toy monkey we gave to him that he'd beat up every single time we scolded him, and that he'd pull to his little basket to sleep with at bedtime, and that he'd hug instead if we pushed him away from us often enough.

And then my prince and I decided to move to a land far far away. Sticky knew something was up, and in the weeks as we were preparing to leave, laid kisses all over me, and refused to let us out of his sight. Stickier even more than he used to be, he'd jump on me every chance he could, and plonk himself on me, licked my face, and lovingly stroked my cheeks with his paw.

It broke my heart to leave, but we did what we had to do, and put Sticky into the care of a friend, and promised to send for him as soon as we set up home. Little did we know, two days after we left, Sticky ran away and was never seen again.

Hearing the news in my far away land, I cried like I'd never cried before. I thought about all the times we shared. How I had tried to push him away. How he just kept coming back. So loving, so forgiving. How he taught me how to love. How he made me laugh. How he made me smile. How he ate like a pig. How he made me want to scream sometimes. How he just stuck to us. And I cried some more. And I still cry sometimes.

Till today, I miss my Sticky, and hope he's out there somewhere, with enough to eat, and that he has someone to stick to. The way he likes to.

Thank you Sticky. For everything.

Light-bulb moment

With holiday season in the air, I'm upbeat and bursting with things to blog about.

Suddenly, I'm remembering the Paris and Berlin trip many moons ago with Super Mi and Kesh I'd been meaning to share. Details of my little holidays here and there with Super Boo. The time when Bryan was here. The time when Leanne was here. The time when Megat was here. The times with the Super M's. The time when the most important people in my life were here.

So I was going through my albums, and looking through all the old-ish pictures, it made me smile and slightly sad. It's such a cliche to say it, but time passes so freaking quickly. Good times, they pass. Bad times, they pass. And how often have I spent wasted good times complaining about the one and only thing that would mar the otherwise perfect experience. Like, the bad weather. Or the bad food. Or that annoying person. Or this. Or that.

Looking back at the smiles in the pictures, did I even realize that the one thing I was complaining about or focusing on didn't matter at all? So what if the food wasn't great? What's most important is that I'm eating with the people I love. So what if I didn't have enough money to buy that Lindy/ Birkin/ Jumbo flap/ Nano (the list can go on forever) I want so bad? What's most important is that I'm window shopping with someone I'd give millions to be with. So what if the weather is grey? What's most important is that we've got shiny smiles. So what if they would get on my nerves sometimes? What's important is they're here. Right here. In my life.

Today, it's cold and gloomy and grey. But in my heart, life's warm, fuzzy and gay. I am so thankful for the little snippets of clarity that come to me once in a while. Cos I've got so many good days to look forward to. And I promise I'm going to spend every single one of them counting the millions of blessings I have.

Happy Monday, and thank you for stopping by!

An orange a day...

... makes me happy to play.

I know, I know, it doesn't make any sense. I just wanted to dedicate a blog post to my current favouritest fruit in the world - the orange.

The thing is, growing up in Asia, I never did like oranges too much. It was always risky to peel an orange, because 9 out of 10 times, it'd be sour and blah. And because I loath wasting food, I would force myself, squirmishly, to finish every cringe-worthy morsel.

Since living in Luxembourg though, the smell of oranges abounds in the markets especially in spring. Every week, I buy bags and bags of it, and permanently have a huge bowl filled to the brim with oranges. So sweet, so juicy, so comforting. Every single one of them. 10 out of 10 times, bursting with absolute perfection.

What's your favourite Spring/ Summer fruit?

J'aime mon papa

 

Happy Father's Day to the most wonderful daddy in the whole wide world.

Biggest bear hug when I see you SOON! :)

Pho-nomenal

Hehe.

I know, my post sounds very pho-real like that.

I'm giggly. Maybe caused by carb overdose of some very good pho last night. I may even go as far to say the best pho I've had all my life.

Of course, Starr and gang, I'm hoping you'll prove me wrong when I get back to KK, but really, for now, this is the best pho, bar none.

Made lovingly by my beloved Dr. D, here are some pics to whet your appetite. Taken with stylistic intentions with my toy cam app.

I'm sticking to my S90 for blog pictures from now on...

Vain nerd alert

My new apps are so awesome. 

Swish, swish, swish. Beautiful.

Paparazzi is back

It is officially HOT these days.

22 degrees celcius. In Luxembourg, that's major.

Even when it rains, it's warm. I'm melting. Sweat. Sweat. Sweat. Growl. Sweat. Sweat. Sweat. Headache. Sweat. Mumble. Grumble. Sweat.

Die. I'm going to become one of those annoying people who go back to Malaysia and say, "Gawd, it's so hot here, I dunno how people can stand to live in this heat."  ^__^

The good thing is, though, that summer dressing is my favorite of all the seasons. All kinds of colors come out, and the whole city is filled with light and life. Here's what I wore the other day:

ASOS dress. 

Zara shorts. 

Brooch from Beijing market. 

Blinged out slippers from Bangkok. 

Longchamp Le Pliage bag. 

Coach shades.

Tiffany & Co necklace. 

Cheap hoop earrings from Shanghai market.

A lousy narration. With a point.

I'm in a thoughtful mood.
And I had some food for thought this afternoon.

Most of you who know me well know that while pretending to be European these days, I still get my (more than) daily dose of Cheena-ism from the youtube-like websites (youku.com and tudou.com) that I got hooked on whilst living in Shanghai.

Every evening, I need my fix of 康熙来了. How I love 小S and 蔡康永. It's pure mindless entertainment, but I absolutely love, love, love it. I sit next to Super Hubs who watches the news and other serious french channels, with my laptop next to me and headphones in my ears, and laugh till I shake sometimes. J'adore the show. So much.

Okay... I've digressed.

Back to my story about deep thoughts.

So, today being the weekend, my fave show doesn't air. So I looked around for some stuff to watch whilst painting my nails. And it wasn't easy cos so many shows can't be watched from outside China. Some sort of copyright/ piracy issue. *thinks about the irony as I roll my eyes*

Sigh. I've digressed again.

Anyway, I came across 鲁豫有约, which is kind of like the asian "Oprah". And in the episode I finally settled on, she was interviewing 周迅, a multi-award winning actress who I never had too much interest in because I had never watched any of the movies she acted in. Mainly cos I'm such a mainstream chick that I've never had an affinity for award winning movies cos they're just too artsy and slow for me. One of my favorite feel good movies is White Chicks. So what?!? I like to laugh!!! *defensive in case I'm being stereotyped cos of my movie choices*

I digressed again, huh?

Okay. As I was saying. 鲁豫 was interviewing 周迅, who surprised me by being sweet, down to earth, witty and funny, and she was talking about her life and thoughts about winning awards all over the world, her love life, her lack of it, her interests, and all that jazz.

... YOU KNOW WHAT? I so suck at narrating stories.

Anyway. I promise there is a point to all this.

Basically, what made me think was this thing she said about life in general. She said that after winning her first award, she was happy, but almost at once, realized how fleeting everything was. Going onto stage to pick up her award, basking in the applause, it all lasted for 5 minutes. Then it passed. After all those months of filming the movie, that was it. She'd achieved the highest high. BUT THAT WAS IT! Then she realised something important. No one should ever dwell too much on the highs and lows of life. That it was important to not be too depressed about failure, nor too big-headed about success, because that too, will pass. For sure. 

I really don't do justice to what she said.

But the words struck a chord in me because I've always strived for 'success' and so-called 'perfection'. And she made me realize that as long as I enjoyed the journey, the end results, which could either be exhilarating or  demoralizing, didn't really matter, because those feelings would pass anyhow. And after that, I get to go on with another part of my journey.

I feel I'm not even doing justice to what I think. But in my head, it's really profound.

Anyhoo, watch it here if you understand mandarin and are interested:
http://www.tudou.com/playlist/p/a66676i86171709.html

Limo

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, 

but what you want is someone who will walk with you when the limo breaks down.

Pique-nique

Ingredients for a great Luxembourgish pique-nique:

1. A bunch of great people

2. A whole lotta good food

3. Bright, bright sunshine

4. Stunning views

5. And most importantly, huge servings of smiles and laughter

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain".

The letter to me

On days when I feel down, I write. Not in this blog because some thoughts are too personal. But somewhere out there, I write and I write and I write and I write.

I write because it makes me make sense of my thoughts, and I write because it makes me feel better. Because in the end, I am all I have, as you are all you have. The bestest friends in the world can't replace the relationship you have with yourself.

And I've found the more I love and appreciate myself, the more I've been able to extend the same generosity of heart to others. It's when I feel scared and doubtful of my own abilities that I end up projecting it to all around me, and viewing the world with skewed eyes.

So, today, I felt bad. Cos of something bad someone did that I know is really not so important in the bigger scheme of my life.

And today, I came across a letter I wrote to myself a couple of months back. And I felt better. And while it's incredibly personal, I decided to share it here. Because everyone should write a letter to themselves once in a while. If only just to remind yourself of how awesome you are, and that this awesome person is in you all the time. That even if the world seems bleak, you still have you. Till the end of time.

Here's my letter to me.

What would yours say if you wrote to you?

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Monday, 21 March 2011

Destined for greatness

Dear Super Hero Heather,

Thank you for being here for me all this while. You've been a solid rock, and you've been stronger than I ever imagined you could be - smiling through every challenge, and so so so calm and positive every single day.

You've shown grace and elegance when you did not know what to do or how to react. You're so sure of yourself, because you know it's you and your happiness that matters. In the face of life, you've been a joy to be with, and your innocence and sincerity and love for life will always shine through, because that's who you are. So beautiful, on the inside and out.

It's amazing how you try to find ways to improve every single day. You've come a long way, remember that, and pat yourself on the back for that. You must look forward to the days that come, because life can only get better and more wonderful for someone as lovely as you.

You may be unsure now, Heather, of how things will pan out. You want life to be perfect, and you want so much to be at a place of security and stability and financial abundance. I know how much you desire it, and how much you wish you had a book that could tell you exactly what to do to get 'there'. And I'm here to tell you, take heart and just keep trying and just keep going. It's written on the cards - you will have the happiness, abundance, precious friendships, loving family, perfect marriage, fulfilling days and peaceful encounters. You will have everything you want.

In fact, isn't most of what you want here already? Do you see? And it can only get better and better, exactly the way you imagine it to be. THAT I promise you.

And remember too, every decision you make IS the right one. Every one you made in the past was the right one. And every one you make in the future will be the right one.

Trust me, life is panning out exactly according to what you want. It may not seem like it at times, but it is. Trust me. One day you'll look back and go, 'ah! now THAT makes sense.'

So, waltz along now, great one. You're living a great life, and destined for an even greater one.

Smile and rejoice now, in practice for when you get there. 

Love,
Your ardent admirer

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Hero tactics

What should a Super Hero do when faced with the most evil and machiavellic villian in the world?

a. Calmly confront and try to make them see the sense of their lunacy and inhumanity.

b. Sit and meditate and think positive thoughts and change the situation with good vibrations. (cue song: *heal the world*)

c. Whack and kick and beat the shit out of them.

I know what I'd wanna to do.

Guess.

Take a wild guess. :p