And another big HELLOOOOOOOooOOoooooOOO to all the other 40 daily readers who've been with me
Recently I got to thinking about blogging. Especially after seeing the hike in my readership. And somehow, once again came across something I wrote a long-long time ago on another site.
Creepy, creepy! I meant me, of course.
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A Stalker
Friday, Oct 10, 2008 6:19AM
I love the voyeurism of it all. A peek into someone's lives. Their thoughts. Dreams. Rantings. Simple accounts of 'what i did today'.
I love it even more when the words hit a chord. When the sharing is so intense I can't help but feel a real connection with this writer. Drawing me back to his/her page everyday, like an addict, needing my daily fix of this 'conversation'. An anonymous face not saying a word, just adding hit counts to the sites I love.
But I wonder at times about the truth behind these words. Are these people writing about a life based on their perceived reality? Or are they such well formed and confident souls who can bravely withstand the thoughts their words provoke?
And how many millions out there are like me, who love the blogosphere, but inside, don't feel we have the depth and intensity to build a blog as good as the ones we love? Who are afraid that if we started sharing, we would be judged as harshly as we judge those blogs we can't stand. For people like us, it is so much easier to claim to 'not have the time' or say, 'I am personal and can't be bothered to make my private life an open book.'
I'll update next, when I have the time.
In the meantime, you know what I'm up to.
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Donc, (it means 'so', or 'therefore' in french) (and I'm planning to add more words in french as time goes by to show off what a great student I am and to also brag about being one of the tops in class despite thinking I'd fail miserably) I started thinking about how and why I started blogging publicly in the first place.
It started out after moving to Luxembourg, and needing to communicate with the people I love which really is not easy when the time difference is so inconvenient. I guess it also helped that I now have loads of time on my hands, and writing something now and then instead of thinking and going deeper into the depths of my sometimes spiraling mind just felt much, much better.
Anyhoo, I wanted to go on and on about my thoughts and the like, but have nothing smart to say anymore. So this post is REALLY just a big welcome to everyone who stopped by. I'm just a girl (yes, yes, still a girl) who's traipsing her way around the world, and in the big, big realms of her mind.
Happy stalking!
Hi Heather, I am one of Kimberly's reader and you know how I got to know your blog, and yes, I have been stalking you for the whole of yesterday! hahaha. :)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I just wanna say that we have many things in common. First of, I am a Malaysian of course, currently working in SH (also got a job in SH out of no where), and am dating a foreigner which is very likely leading to a next level. And might the possibility of moving back to Europe is vey very high.
Remember your blog about how life after married and being a housewife is not easy, about now you are just Heather, no longer Heather from xxx! OMG! Thanks so much for that post! I wanted so much to be a housewife after all these years of being a corporate slave (i am in advertising, so you can imagine), but now you really got me thinking twice! :) I never thought there would be so much emotional struggles to deal with being a housewife.
Thanks for the heads up!
Keep writing, I will be stalking your blog from time to time. :)
Cheers!
Pekyee
greetings from a fellow stalker! :D
ReplyDelete"But I wonder at times about the truth behind these words. Are these people writing about a life based on their perceived reality? Or are they such well formed and confident souls who can bravely withstand the thoughts their words provoke?"
ReplyDeleteI don't really know how to deliberately lie on a blog and am still learning to better omit (and so kena burn and regret). Which is why I never really encourage HK readers except friends. Pretty much all the English bloggers I know in HK either go on pseudonym if they write candidly, or else if they're not on pseudonym the blog can get quite bloodless. (HK bloggers I know often request for me not to disclose their identity or even sometimes email ID whenever I mention them.)
I learned the hard way why (because seems like Malaysian and Singapore bloggers tend to disclose more and I didn't realize the difference vs English blogs in HK initially) after disclosing to some mums in my son's school that I had the blog (I thought it a courtesy since we hang out). Some then sent my blog to the principal of my son's school without a word to me (curry favor i guess). I didn't get in trouble because I'd paid attention the the parent briefing guidelines about teacher and child privacy and applied the same to the blog, and anyway am not sorry about anything I wrote, but it was really mortifying anyway. So were some talking to-s I then received about the "competitive nature of parenting in HK" which I had been naive about in disclosing so much about my son's developmental stages. The obvious naivete in my disclosures (as someone living in HK where ppl don't usually do that) was, again, really embarrassing.
If I could do it all again I would never have mentioned the school, or else strive for more anonymity. But right now I'm stuck. I don't mention schooling for awhile and ppl wonder if I'm having second thoughts about my schooling choices. (another competitive thing here with all the interviewing and prep that goes on)
I console myself that if I'm leaving anything worth reading for my son it is of no use bloodless anyway. But to be honest if I see my HK readership going up I get scared :P
Whooo! love long long comments. :) here are my long long replies:
ReplyDeleteHello dear pekyee! OMG. We have such similar lives. I used to be in PR and later in SH, Marketing, and dealt (and fought... hihihi) with advertising people all the time.
And yes, I can tell you the transition from being a super busy (feeling super important) corporate slave to a (sort of) nobody is quite daunting. Hubby is sweet and tries to tell people proudly what I used to do, and how great I was at my job, but then again, it's all 'in the past', if you know what i mean.
But I must also say there are lots of positive aspects to this arrangement when it comes to our 'couple life'. Having this first year of marriage to just us and with only one stressful job to deal with between us has been good, and we've been able to look out for each other. If I'd still been a stressed out maniac, I'm not sure we'd have been able to cope with so much that's happened this year and found time to enjoy each other's company.
I talked to my 'mentor' about this too. When I was frustrated and feeling useless about not doing anything. And she, who's an older and majorly successful person told me this: "You know, after all these years of living - this I know. When you have a good and stable, and yes, happy marriage, life IS good in spite of crap. But if you had all the other elements going for you but a cold lifeless marriage - its just hell thru and thru. Awesome hubby is front, left and center. The rest is just gravy."
:) hope that helped. and all the best in your future!
Hello kimberly! :) "my name is Heather, and I am a blog stalk-aholic"
ReplyDeleteDearest Aileen,
ReplyDeleteI so know what you mean! In fact, I've only let a handful of friends in Luxembourg know about my blog, and am happy to let my blog readers be far far away from me :p
Hubby being a chef, I've even had to be careful to not do any restaurant reviews of Luxembourgish restos (though I love writing about food and such) in case I had a bad experience and can't be honest about it in case the people/owners/ chefs ever came across it and blacklists my hubby thanks to me.
I had the biggest scare once when I saw my stats, and that a person had found my blog after searching for a resto that I had mentioned and that I'd said wasn't too pleased with the food. I edited my entry very soon after that. and deleted a couple of posts about restos I didn't like.
Such a delicate process this blogging thing. We live and learn everyday, huh?
hi there!
ReplyDeletei'm one of Kimberly's readers (she has great recipes!) and so i stumbled upon your via her recommendation :)
Just to drop a note to say Hi! i'm a fellow Malaysian living in Budapest. My hubby was posted here so i came along for the ride about 4 months ago.
Still getting used to living in Europe - the lack of chinese food, the lack of chinese greens, the lack of chinese shows...but i guess that's life :) u adjust and make the best out of what you have haha.
Anyway pls continue to write and i'll be dropping by every now and then!
Cheers
eve
Personally, I aim for some form of anonymity. It's a fine balance writing deep personal thoughts down and disclosing too much. To protect those I know, I do not reveal names and places.
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty scary going from a corporate job or any job for that matter to being a housewife. It's a lose of identity. Suddenly, there's no monetary rewards for a job well done (wow your toilet's so clean, here's your bonus for the year) nor set clear goals. Boy, do I hear you!
Hey Heather,
ReplyDeleteThought I'd quietly stalk you, but since this post, LOL (felt like I was caught red-handed), just wanna say that I have thoroughly enjoyed your insights esp about living in Europe. My other half is also French and we are moving back to Paris in the very near future (possibly this Sept).
I have been learning French (mais je ne parle bien parce que je n'ai pas travaille dur comme vous) for the past couple of years and quit my job last yr to focus on studies.
Enchanté et j'aime bien lire ton blog :)
So I could relate to a some of the things that you were talking about and am thinking of writing one when I'm settled in Europe. But I'm a bit reserved about that, sometimes blogging ain't that easy just coz the boundaries are not so clear yet. (its a job hazard as I was a journalist and legally trained LOL)
Thanks for the restaurant recommendation in Paris (esp the Cambodian Chinese one),am passing it off to some of my friends there ;)
Good luck and keep bloggin!
Chrissy
Yeah really learned the hard way... I would never have thought about the restaurant comment thing that you experienced too! Thank God the kindy my son attends is one of a broad group of schools and I had simply neglected to mention specifically which when I started blogging... Haha and then can u imagine I got ppl asking me exactly WHICH branch within the group that my son attends!
ReplyDeleteBut it was to his school's credit that they are very, very careful - because his pics are all over my blog, I realized they never display his pic alongside all his artwork (which they do for quite a few other kids) or weekly school correspondence emails etc so it's not as easy to figure out which branch of the school group he's at... I later learned they are used to being really professional about this cos quite a few HK starlets send their kids to a school within this school group - when it turned out one of my son's best friends in class had a HK actress mum who explained it.. She would often wear glasses/ baseball cap on school run too
Sorry sorry forgot to clarify, when I said "anonymous" and "bloodless" in the first comment - I mean REALLY anonymous (zero photos, pseudonym only, not even initials) or REALLY bloodless (reads totally like Reuters or Bloomberg-not-the-opinion section)
ReplyDeleteHi Heather,
ReplyDeleteI started to stalk u after reading Kimberly's blog not becoz if her recipes but due to the word "Luxembourg"! I was there close to 4 years and came home to MY in Aug 10. How i missed it, after seeing some pics of Lux, and I hope you enjoy your stay in the beautiful country:) Addi!
DL
Dear Eve,
ReplyDeleteHi there in Budapest! Wow! That's another far-away place :) I can imagine how challenging it must be trying to settle down there. Brings me back to my early months in Lux. Though I can tell you with confidence that after 1 year, it's all good, and will start to feel like home, FINALLY! :)
In fact, being back in Malaysia for a break now, I can't seem to cook as well as I did in Europe cos we don't have the same spices as they do in the asian market that I go to in Lux. Oh! the irony! :)
Dear Chrissy,
ReplyDeleteHeya!!! Welcome to Europe (soon!!!!) ;) I love Paris madly, and am so envious that you'll be living there.
Ermmm... Your french is very very very good for someone who does not 'travaille dur!' I still daren't write cos my grammar is atrocious. ;-( I get by better with speaking, and am impressing the peeps back home A LOT when I talk to hubby in french cos they don't know better and hubs doesn't blow my cover. ;p
Keep on commenting, and I'd loveee to know if you ever decide to start a blog.
Marlene, I think we should come up with an appropriate rewards system for SAHWs. Standardise it somewhat. Minimum gratitude levels and all should be adhered to. Like, a 'thank you' and 'you're so awesome' and 'you're the most amazing of all' and 'i'm so thankful for you' every now and then (everyday) would be so welcome!
ReplyDeleteDL,
ReplyDeleteHELLO!!!! OMG!!! A fellow almost-burger!!!! :)
That's so awesome!!! I was just whining that I'd never met a single Malaysian living in Luxembourg at all!
Oh I so get what you mean about the cold anoynimity as well, Aileen! No pics, writings (almost) in code, cryptic sentences, vague posts... WHY DO THEY EVEN BOTHER???? WHO GETS THEM ANYWAY????
ReplyDelete